So Sick
*image credits: Sam Brown-www.explodingdog.com
It took my body 9 months and 10 days before it gave up being valiant and succumbed to its ever-burning desire to rest. For the first time in so many years, I fell ill.
The doctor said my inflamed tonsils were the culprit. The infections reached as far as the back part of my throat which made swallowing a mundane task. They were also the cause of my recurring fever. I, on the other hand, believe otherwise. If there's anything to be blamed, it's my job.
I've never been sickly. I'm never one to catch the flu so easily, not even a case of sore eyes. The last time I had to be absent from anything was because of chicken pox and that was back when I was in second grade. I experience the usual cough and colds but they were never anything that kept me incapacitated for so long.
For the past several months, it has just been my strong will that has kept me going, even through a lot of changes at work --- resignation of esteemed colleagues, increasing work load, change in supervisors and loss of accounts. Now that my spirit is flagging, it seems that my body has reached its limit and sympathized with my lack of enthusiasm for my state of employment.
I used to think that I should accomplish the most that I can every day, which often led to overtime work (no pay, just translated to compensating leaves which I can never find time to avail). I used to go to work a little more early than I do these days. I used to think of additional load as extra challenge. I used to feel well-accomplished after a day's work. I used to love my job.
A saying in the office goes “They won’t give it to you if they know you can’t do it.” When I was new, I just smiled and said nothing. A year later, when I got so mad regarding an office matter and it was jokingly said to me, I shot back, ”I know I can do it but they don’t have to give all the work to me!”
I guess it’s partly my fault that I let them think I can manage everything. But I know I have only myself to blame for putting up with such a crappy situation, opting to stay a little longer, even when I knew deep inside that the system and the people would not change.
I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m frustrated. I’m so sick of this entire set-up. It’s about time for a change.
It took my body 9 months and 10 days before it gave up being valiant and succumbed to its ever-burning desire to rest. For the first time in so many years, I fell ill.The doctor said my inflamed tonsils were the culprit. The infections reached as far as the back part of my throat which made swallowing a mundane task. They were also the cause of my recurring fever. I, on the other hand, believe otherwise. If there's anything to be blamed, it's my job.
I've never been sickly. I'm never one to catch the flu so easily, not even a case of sore eyes. The last time I had to be absent from anything was because of chicken pox and that was back when I was in second grade. I experience the usual cough and colds but they were never anything that kept me incapacitated for so long.
For the past several months, it has just been my strong will that has kept me going, even through a lot of changes at work --- resignation of esteemed colleagues, increasing work load, change in supervisors and loss of accounts. Now that my spirit is flagging, it seems that my body has reached its limit and sympathized with my lack of enthusiasm for my state of employment.
I used to think that I should accomplish the most that I can every day, which often led to overtime work (no pay, just translated to compensating leaves which I can never find time to avail). I used to go to work a little more early than I do these days. I used to think of additional load as extra challenge. I used to feel well-accomplished after a day's work. I used to love my job.
A saying in the office goes “They won’t give it to you if they know you can’t do it.” When I was new, I just smiled and said nothing. A year later, when I got so mad regarding an office matter and it was jokingly said to me, I shot back, ”I know I can do it but they don’t have to give all the work to me!”
I guess it’s partly my fault that I let them think I can manage everything. But I know I have only myself to blame for putting up with such a crappy situation, opting to stay a little longer, even when I knew deep inside that the system and the people would not change.
I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m frustrated. I’m so sick of this entire set-up. It’s about time for a change.
Labels: sick
posted by lovefool @ 11:00 PM
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